I’m not going to put this night as something memorable. 1 AM and i’m struggling to close my eyes, knowing how tired my body is at the moment, yet not being able to sleep. I want to blame it to everything. I ended up blaming myself.
I tried to close my eyes, then some memories of things recalled. About how my days could have been something better. About so many small things i’ve missed for being an ignorant. About the food. About you. And you know i will talk about the last thing i mentioned.
The feeling i have on my chest, something like it wants to get out — it’s always like this when i’m having you in mind. How i feel it’s just plain hard for me to breathe. How every tip of my body is aching for your presence. How i suddenly just can think about you.
I could have laughed at myself for being like those girls on those romantic novels i have read. But it can’t be helped anyway, i bet people will do the same thing when they have felt the love so strong like what you’ve been giving to me. The difference is only that i express it exaggeratedly.
I could only wish God ain’t fooling us around.
… Well, not only that. I wish you were here, so i can lay a kiss on your forehead, wish you good night, hug you tightly, or maybe i’ll just give you blowjobs and we’ll have some great orgasms..
I could only wish.